TGIF 3.7 – Bundle of joy

Warning: not for the fainthearted

I am grateful for babies, but above all, I am grateful for epidural. ba

First and foremost, I know its not Friday. Of course, we all can pretend there’s a town or planet where its still Friday, but I just witnessed one of the joys of nature and humankind—the birthing process, and I had to write something.

The more I interact with women, especially pregnant women and women in labor and post partum women, the more I come to appreciate the gift called woman. First and foremost, I think every woman on this earth who has carried a baby in their womb or given birth deserves a lifetime achievement award. If nobody has ever thought to say that to you or present you with one, me, naijagirl is endorsing you for a lifetime achievement award.

Babies are bundle of joy, but the process of them coming to be is not a bundle of joy (in my own opinion)—I almost got traumatized while witnessing one. I came out narrowly missing being traumatized but I gained something from the whole experience. I realized the efforts of mothers and the price they pay for bringing us to life. This must be a time to reflect on Genesis 3 where God was dishing out his punishment to Eve and the rest of the women.

The whole experience had a great impact on me, so much so that when I got out of the room, I sent my mom a text and the following transpired between us.

Me: honey, quick question. Did you do natural birth or did you use epidural?

Mom: there’s no epidural in naija. Ask me if I have ever heard of epidural until I went to OB/GYN clinical

Me: hmmm. That’s torture. Perhaps, your kids need to give you a lifetime achievement award…….(I went on to tell her how I endorse her for the award and how much I appreciate what she did by giving birth to me. I continued by apologizing for my past and present wrongs. I told her how much people don’t know what women go through to bring a baby and yet the kids grow up to be rude and saucy or break their heart.

Mom:I receive all the good prayers, blessings and messages but that’s the joy of it all.

What? What? Joy of what all? The joys of motherhood—seriously, where does that joy come in. I stood near that woman’s bed watching her writhe in pain and all I kept saying to myself was “oh hell no. you want me to go through this? Oh hell no”, that was until I heard she chose to go natural which is why her pains were intensified.

By the grace of God, pain reliever has been manufactured to help relieve the pains of the birthing process but some women still don’t get to use it. They go “natural”, and by that I mean go the whole nine yards through intense pain Either cos of cultural, religious reasons or plain ignorance—perhaps, they weren’t told about It like my mom.

Truly, I don’t see any reason why anyone would decide to feel that pain when you know you can get something for it. Natural or no natural. I think some women chose not to take epidural just cos of “bragging right”. In other words, so, they can say, they went through the birthing process without any medication. I have reasoned like that before, but the more I get older, the more I realize it doesn’t just make any sense. Seriously, 10 years from now, who’s gonna care if you went natural or not—definitely, not me.

Men, appreciate your women. When she’s pregnant and you see all those changes in her, appreciate her the more ‘cos you don’t see those instant changes in your own body. I wish all fathers get to stay in the delivery room to go through the process with the mothers, but since most of them choose not to, you ought to appreciate the woman the most for that experience cos its not easy.

Any woman that insists on going natural, all I can say is “hmmm”. Life is torture on its own, why add more to it, and bragging rights aint gonna look so cute later when you think about it.

I don’t care if all the women in your generation went natural or if you use your wife’s birthing process to brag in the locker room, but any man that insists on the wife going natural, like I have witnessed is a very wicked man, Its just plain cruel.(naijagirl©2009)

As I reflect over these things, it reminds me of a note I read on facebook. It was written by an immature guy to “woman”. In the note, he mentioned how he bargained for a beautiful body but after couple of years, all he sees is a body with stretch marks. To begin with, stretch marks on the stomach of a pregnant woman was one of the first things I saw and said—fathers should always appreciate their baby mama.

I have a friend and the thot of seeing a pregnant woman sends him to an early grave-yet, he wants a house full of kids (12 or more), and because of him and others like him, I have attached a warning label to this post—not for the fainthearted.

Have a wonderful weekend y’all!.

                   My words, my views, my style! Naijagirl©2009

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Published in: on October 25, 2009 at 2:59 am  Comments (18)  

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18 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. the drugs have side-effects.you can google it.and you have to wait till you give birth before concluding.its their body,their decision,noone should put down their choice and decisions just because you dont agree with it.epidural has a whole lot of sideeffects.
    my mum knew about epidural and still went ahead to give birth to 6 kids without it cos she discussed the risks with the doctors and felt they were not worth risking.
    noone would want to go through that whole pain so that they can brag about it and yes my mum gave birth in nigeria.and no,i dont agree with you at all in this post.

    • Leggy, one thing you have to realize is that everything in life has side effects. The water you drink has side effects, getting up in the mornin and driving has side effects. What do we do? we weigh our options and do what we deem best. Every medication you have ever taken and will take has side effects. Different pain relievers and medications are made available for when we are sick, you might as well give up taking those because of their side effects.
      When a form of pain reliever is available and women in labor are not given that option, thats cruelty, I dont care what anybody say. Its pure cruelty. Some women would gladly take the epidural if they had the choice, but no, their choices are already made by their husbands, management, society or religion and thats wrong. Those people are not the ones going through what the person is going through. Leggy, one day you will be in the labor room and when you have seen a woman go through labor without anything, when you have heard her moaning and wailing, I would like to see you still maintain your stand on it. I dont have to have the experience to be able to make my opinion. If i waited in life to have experience for everything, I will probably be 6ft under….what makes me part of who I am is being able to learn from things around me and from the experiences of others without having to go through the same thing.
      And as for going through it to brag about it, my dear,I have seen it being done, I saw it today, so when I write, I write out of what I know and have seen and can attest to.
      As for epidural and naija, I had this discussion with a doctor in naija and no matter how much he tried to cloak it , he still maintained that where he worked, they had epidural but the management locked it up. He maintained women could do without it, so why give it to them……to me, management or no management, thats cruel.those are my words and i am sticking to them.

      • that wasnt my point at all.my point is that its about choice.if they are presented the choices and they agreed to go natural you shouldnt say that its cos they want ‘bragging right’ i dont think thats a nice thing to say.i never said natural is better,i just said if they want to go natural speculations shouldnt be made on why they chose that particular ish.
        thats my point.im not saying anyone is better.

  2. Leggy and this her google. Everything has risks but for the most part and epidural is safe. Most people go through it and have healthy normal kids.

    • Everything has side effects like you said, and in my own opinion, most things (if not all) in life do. Most women would love to go natural, but sometimes they cant. when the pain gets too much, they ask for pain reliever. “Not-normal” kids have been seen in people who had natural birth and had no complications….things just happen.

    • i never said they didnt have normal kids.im saying that this posts sounds like that the people who have a choice and decide to go natural are making a mistake.epidural is not perfect just like doing it natural is not perfect.so everyones decision should be respected…that ish about going natural for ‘bragging rights’ really isnt a nice thing to say.

  3. I won’t pretend I know enuf about epidural and its side effects.. guess the woman needs to make her choice though…

    All these ‘many’ doctor’s stories.. u sure you are not a doctor so??? lol

    • lol, Danny, I no be doctor. I just happen to have interaction with people for health related reasons.

  4. hmmm.. quite enlightning..
    i think its just fair to leave the decision to the woman who will give birth to the baby.

  5. I have learnt to appreciate my mom because it is not easy.

    I have a friend who put to bed twice in US but opted to go natural. When i asked why she said her labour was short (45 mins) and she could bear the pain. Thank God there are options these days and people can choose.

  6. I thin it should be left to the woman whose choice it should be. But if management are not offering the relief when they have it, that’s not fair at all.

  7. Natural? Heck no. Bring the epi-damn-dural. We did not come this far is science just to go natural. Why not have open heart surgery with no anethesia. Shio.

    Btw- hurray for all mothers.

  8. lol not for the fainthearted indeed. I guess some women want to give birth the natural way just to constantly remind their children or husband what they went through.. ( i think..lol) or like you say bragging right.

    how are you..

  9. To me each woman should choose if she can: for some, the labour happens so quickly that the option of epidural doesn’t come up, or for other reasons it’s not an option. My biggest concern is if a mistake is made and paralysis results. I know it’s very rare though, but that’s the only fear that might keep me away from the epidural.

    The other thing is God created women to give birth, everything else that has been made available are aids to the process in my opinion (talking about a regular pregnancy; we all know that complications happen or a woman might physically be unable to do a vaginal birth). Anyway, I am just thankful for the innovations in aiding childbirth! I know I will benefit from some of them at the very least. New life is such a miracle!

  10. lol…I also think it should be a matter of choice for the woman concerned, as far as there is adequate education about the choices/options available…thank God for mothers and babies…

  11. the birthing experience is a wonderful one, i’ve been privileged to see close friends getting pregnant and having the babies, just awesome, i will cherish every moment when it’s my turn…it’s a huge work though!

    Btw, there’s epidural in Naija now o!

  12. NaijaGirl!!!

    Werrin dey? So sorry I’ve been mia and just replying. I have been keeping up to date with your blog entries on my phone tho.

    I had to ask my Mum if she took an epidural for my other siblings’ deliveries when I read ths, wallahi. She said they gave her injections sha. It’s epi for me o. What I have seen on tv and in The Pregnancy Book is enough to convince me. I can brag about other things- like how I pulled a tooth without painkillers (ok I lie).
    Happy November, NaijaGirl!

  13. Hmmm, post!! In my own eyes, pregnant women look finer and rounder. I remember when I was younger, I always took extra time to admire pregnant wives, taking time to look at them, their skin, their smile, etc (*no bad thoughts though*). What I notice is that they are finer than when they weren’t pregnant.
    Women are strong I must confess. I always say I’ll be by my wife’s side when she’s giving birth, holding and rubbing and soothing (if she agrees).. not sure epidural will make her feel those soothing, sensational touches.


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