10 reasons why you are still single.

       Are you still single? Are you still looking for “the one”? Are you waiting on God for the right spouse or are you still bidding your time? Are you even considering marriage or have you convinced yourself that marriage is not in the equation for you? Have you been burned from a past relationship and have refused to let go of the hurt? Could this be the reason why you are still single?

     According to Pastor Dennis Rouse of Victory world church, there are ten major reasons why many people are still single. The reasons have been outlined below; I thought these reasons were real—ask yourself “which one applies to me?”

  1. Immaturity: There are lots of immature men and women out there. How many times have you heard a woman say “All I find is boys, I am looking for a man. There are bunch of males out there but not men”. According to Pastor Dennis, “you are male by birth and a man by choice” In other words, growing older or taller or bigger or having more education don’t make you a man. Having an enlarged penis doesn’t make you a man—you earn “manhood”. We have more women complain about “bunch of young boys in big old adult bodies still playing video games”, but we still have immature women too.  If you belong to this category, all I can say is “Grow up and “the one” might just be near!! As apostle Paul said “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I acted like a child, but when I grew up, I put away childish things” (paraphrased)
  2. Trust issues: Perhaps, they have had some bad situations in their past. Maybe, they were in a bad relationship; maybe, they were abused – physically, mentally, sexually etc, but the end result is that they don’t trust anybody. Ask them out for a cup of coffee and they think you want to get into their pants.  Ask them for advice on relationship and they tell you that all men/women are the same. Have you been hurt in the past or perhaps you learned from someone else’s experience about being burned or maybe, naturally, you have problem with trusting people. Could this be the reason why you are still single? Re-evaluate your self and keep in mind that when next the guy asks you out for a cup of coffee, perhaps, all he is truly asking is a cup of coffee.
  3.  Bad examples: All they see are bad marriages and relationships.  Maybe, they have seen their parent’s or families’ marriage go bad and they have convinced themselves that the only way to avoid such situation is to give up on marriage entirely, but because one apple went bad in the basket, don’t mean every apple out there is bad.
  4. Busy life:  I don’t have time for marriage right now. I am busy building my career. I am busy with my education. I want to travel. I have things I want to accomplish and marriage will spoil the show for me. Marriage will cramp my lifestyle. I am not even considering marriage, not until I am done with my education—and the list goes on and on.
  5. Financial instability: The average guy considers his financial status and stability before considering marriage. It might be difficult for a person who is without work or source of income to jump into the marriage pool, not when he knows that when money is involved in marriage, 1+1 becomes 2 or 3 or any no of kids or dependents you end up with. God help you, if you are already swimming in the pool of debt or have mismanaged your finances as a single person. I have heard cases where people ask for the credit report of a would be spouse before they make up their mind on being their partner. The end point is that most men would want to be financially stable before they go into marriage—perhaps, that’s why he hasn’t proposed yet.
  6. Autonomy: I don’t want anybody ruling over me. I can’t imagine being under a man. I don’t want to be responsible for anybody. They like their life of independence and have convinced themselves that marriage would change that attribute of them.
  7. Selfishness: I don’t want to give up my stuff. I don’t want to give up any of my life for anybody. Imagine having to share my space, bed, bathroom with someone else.
  8. Mystical Ideology: I am waiting for a sign from God. I am waiting for a sign to tell me you are the one and if I don’t get the sign “forget it” “no vacancy”  “we are closed”.
  9. Indecisive: They can’t make up their mind. They can’t make a decision; they can’t make decisions about life or relationships. They can’t make up their mind on who they want. They are with Joe, but they are still eyeing Sunny cos Sunny seems quite promising –snap out of it and make up your mind.

10.  Sexual promiscuity: why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? How many times have you heard this comment? You are getting the sex and the benefits, but without the commitment. Why commit or get married when you can have sex without having to be responsible afterwards?

       According to Pastor Dennis, although, these reasons are real, they are still traps and deceptions that prevent people from reaping the good benefits of marriage. Haven’t you heard that the benefits of marriage far outweigh singlehood?

       I always ask “why do people get married” and the closest truth anyone ever told me was to have legalized sex and express your sexual desires. We all have one desire or the other; to you, it could be a sexual desire. If you are not married and you have these desires, there’s a push to express them outside the umbrella of marriage. The interesting thing about the above reasons, especially for a Christian man/woman who have decided to stay away from sex outside marriage is that the longer you buy into these reasons/excuse, the longer you burn and the longer you burn, the more likely it would be for you to fall into sex.

Are you ready for marriage? Have you been wondering why you are still single? Which of the above reasons apply to you? What are you going to do about it? Have a wonderful week y’all and for those that have been checking up on me, Merci beacoup and God bless you—Its tight schedule that have kept me away from your blog.

                     My words, my views, my style! Naijagirl©2009

Published in: on September 9, 2009 at 3:21 am  Comments (19)  

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19 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. ah..good to read from you…
    like the post too…would be changing any mindsets that need changing..

    • ahh, Simeone, longest time. Thanks a lot. Hope the post would make singles to at least think about themselves

  2. Why I’m still single? There’s always a time for everything!! (That wasn’t among the 10 reasons).. LOL…. Nice post 🙂
    On a serious note, I think point 5 is a valid point and should not be overlooked. Finance is key though it should not be overemphasized. Discretion and understanding of the couple is important. Plus purging minds of traditions will do singles a lot of good.
    Point 4 is the worst excuse anyone should give. Busy? Really? (signing a dotted line doesn’t take a whole minute) LOL

    • Lol…so your own reason lies behind timing. signing in dotted doesnt take a whole minute? lol, you will be surprised.
      Most times when people are busy (consciously/unconsciously), they push relationship or marriage to the back seat.You are goal oriented and focused on a particular task–eg school or a new job or business

      • lol, i agree with you, was just trying to do a layman ranking of the reasons in order of relevance..
        Marriage is a beautiful thing and this list is a wake-up call for singles.

  3. lol i can relate to a couple of them…

    • lol, you can? If we all are truthful to ourselves, we would know we can relate to couple of them too. hope you are good

  4. Great post. I think when you’re younger, more of these factors come to play but I can honestly say that these don’t apply to me anymore. I’m ready but my hindrances are that I’m not putting myself into situations where I can meet men who are looking for marriage (most of my friends are already married so when I am hanging with them, it’s usually in situations where there are no single people). I’m also lacking in confidence for one main reason, so I probably don’t present myself well.

    Anyway, enough about me! Have a good week too! I hope your hectic schedule calms down a bit.

    • True, most of these reasons come into play at various stages in our life.
      The good thing about your response is that you know what the reason is for you. How about we try working on you based on those reasons? As married people tend to hang out more with fellow married people, when hanging out with your married friends, you may come across more married people or even divorced people. These may not be the category you want, so, we need a business plan for places you need to be and at the right time to meet single men.
      Confidence…..i cant over emphasize on the importance of confidence. Fake it until it becomes real. People see what you want them to see and most people can smell lack of confidence a mile away. I have seen girls that are facially or bodily challenged but with the kind of confidence they release, you see men fighting to claim them.
      Thanks a lot, I hope so for the schedule too.

      maybe, I shall start hooking you up with single men ready for marriage

      • Oh, you sound like you’d be a good life (or is it relationship) coach!

        If you know any single and ready to marry men in their 30s, I won’t say no 🙂

  5. Hmm.. perhaps these reasons come up at different stages of life.. i can see quite a few reasons I have used in the past on there….

    • @Bagucci, you’re right about this coming up at different stages of life. True.

  6. Am not ready for marriage neither am I wondering why am single. Am single cos I have not seen a guy who is good enough. When it’s right everything will fall in place

  7. Amen to the Mystical Ideology!!! I think it is rather misleading.

  8. All the posted reason in this site is really evident on what were the reason why people remain single for all the rest of thier life. But my main concept to this was, only those educated people actually considered those reasons why they wanted to not tie the knot yet.

    LOL..women look for a man, not that handsome but with a thick wallet.Vice versa, guy are not looking for those fresh gals, but women who can be thier sugar moms……

  9. For me, I know for a fact that I currently lack financial security, and I refuse to totally rely on my husband for everything. I don’t mind relying on him, but not for everything. I, too have to be bringing something to the table. It is imperative that I do.

  10. Those reasons seem to cover everything but really it’s not a crime to be single which the write-up seems to be saying. Nice blog though, I like it.

  11. babe,luvly post!
    Hw far wit d new blog?

  12. how you dey?

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