TGIF 3.5

I am grateful for compliments and affirmation

     You ever heard someone throw you off guard with “you know why I like you?” and they go ahead to list some things about you that you never even paid attention to. It could have been “I don’t regret ever knowing you” or “wow, I like that outfit” without the person knowing about the war of the worlds you were involved in at home concerning that particular outfit. Yesterday, I was watching list of celebrities who went under the knife (plastic surgery), just because they didn’t like one part of their body or the other, or perhaps, because someone somewhere made a negative comment about their body. Some of these celebrities went in looking beautiful, but they left the surgical table marred for life and looking like Halloween ghosts. My heart went out to these people because I realized that everyone in life needs affirmation. I wondered if these people would have gone under the knife that changed them and led some to death and some, to almost death, if only they had cheerleading group that affirmed them constantly.

         Affirmation ought to start with parents or caregivers right from the womb. If you are a parent and you haven’t started, there’s still time today. You tell the baby and the person how awesome they are and how beautiful/handsome they look. No matter how confident you are, there could be a day or a second when you will feel so unsure and a compliment or affirmation is all you need to boost you. What is a river without water? To some people, compliments/affirmation is like a river, if the water dries up, it affects them, so they need constant affirmation to boost them. To some others, it could be like a bank account; what you deposit is what you get (checking acct), or better still, whatever you put in has given you extra confidence/boost (Savings acct)

        I have thrown lots of guys off track when they hear me compliment a lady. It still does not make sense to me why some people would expect me to compliment or admire only men. Are men the only people in this world? In their own defense, they expect me to compliment guys while they compliment girls.  However, I am someone who appreciates beautiful things. I see something good—I compliment it, whether it’s a fly, flower, fountain, female or men.

         It’s so easy to find something bad about someone or something uncomplimentary about the person. Sometimes, you see a well dressed lady, and all the goodies to go along with that persona, but you look at her from head to toe, and all you can come up with, is, that her bracelet doesn’t match or perhaps that she has a “K leg”. Next time, before that ugly idea steps in and you wanna cap on the guy/girl, take a moment to smile and compliment him/her on something about them.

         A smile can go a long way in making someone’s day, so remember that next time you want to crunch your face up in a frown. To some people, smile is either the most expensive thing or the scarcest. It doesn’t hurt to tell that co worker “oh you are looking great. What’s that you have on, I like it. Is that your after shave? Oh, you had a new hair cut, it’s good” and the list goes on and on. I am used to complimenting people especially when there’s something to compliment about. I have realized I throw them off guard when I give the compliments and that in itself pleases me. In undergrad, I see my classmates work in on a Monday morning or even Saturday afternoon with a new hairdo—I comment on it. “Oh wow, John, you had a hair cut. Looks good on you”. Oh wow, Chi chi, you are rocking that dress. Oooooh I like your make up.

        Trust me, without having to look hard, there are many things to compliment people. In the same way, there are many things to compliment God on. “God, maan, you are too much. Imagine the time being 3am in naija and its 6pm in Panya” God, I marvel ooo. See how you made it and  its raining in Victoria Island but its not raining in Festac”  “Wow God see how you made the cloud white, blue, black….you are too much”—and in case you are wondering, yes, sometimes I address God as “maan”, especially when he has done something that shocks me out of my socks.  No matter where we look, we see God’s footprints; It’s in us, its around us, its everywhere. We will understand him better if we recognize and appreciate those attributes of him.

             One day, I was feeling down for reason I can’t remember now. I was going through my journal when I came across an entry I had made a while ago. In the entry, a friend of mine said something that I never paid attention to until that day. He said “what if you were never born?” he said those words out of appreciation, but I thought about those few words in various ways “what if I wasn’t born?” There may be people who are thinking it but not saying it, just as some claim to love you but have never told you. Perhaps, this should be food for thot for you this weekend—“what if you were never born?”, you can finish that statement with whatever runs through your mind, for instance, what if I was never born, who will make this friend smile? Who will take care of the family? Who will…..you are important in this life and you count—never forget that.  

       Have a wonderful weekend—I wish you a compliment filled weekend.

                    My words, my views, my style! Naijagirl©2009!

Published in: on September 25, 2009 at 10:44 pm  Comments (12)