Naija man and romance pt 2

Sorry y’all for the late response.

        Like some people implied (Diamondhawk, BSNC, justdoyin) in the first post “One man’s meat/romance is another man’s poison/romance”, but first we have to consider what romance is.

       Romance has been in existence right from the days of our fore fathers. When a man decides to go out of his way to do something he knows will make his wife happy….that’s romance for him. For instance, he decides to pound the foo foo for that day rather than berate the wife for not doing so, or he decides to adorn her with some local beads…..that’s him being caring and showing romance.

        It just so happens that as generations come and go, we tend to lean towards the glitz of hollywood and the western world (mizcynic) and we tend to coin their definition of romance as the right romance. No, thats not the only way to be romantic. I believe true romance is knowing what makes your partner tick/happy and setting out to accomplish that; romance is learning your partner’s romance language (GNG) and setting out to ensure that you always bring a smile to that person’s face by speaking that language. If your partner likes flowers, cards, chocolates….and you give her money. She is not going to call you romantic. Romance is a way you express love visibly. 

         If we are going by the western world’s definition of romance, I will say that a typical naija man does not follow suit (Afrobabe, Simeone, BSNC)  probably, cos doing so, would entrap him in another man’s culture.

           However, between naija men outside the shores of naija and naija men in naija universities, I will go out of my way and say that naija men representing in naija, express those overtures more than those outside. If you ever went to a university back home, take a moment to think about things you saw or did just for a relationship that you knew was not going to continue after a semester or end of school year. Life has dealt its share of blows to some people via relationship experiences so much so that when naija men grow older or find themselves outside naija, they tend to stay away from these romantic overtures……but, must every female suffer for the sins of one female who humiliated you million years BC?

          A poor naija man is more likely to be romantic; he may not have money to buy flowers and chocolates, but if he’s educated, he is the one who goes out of his way to write poems or write something that comes out of his mind. He is also the same one that goes out of his way to buy hallmark cards with Mr Biggs and a pack of 5 alive with the little money he was able to find.

         A middle class naija man is up for grab. He goes whichever way the wind blows (mizcynic, Tigeress); his decision to express romance is based on his intellect/way of reasoning, pocket size and experience.

         The rich or political naija man does not see romance as Hollywood. He sees romance as money. He strives to make money to give to his wife as a sign of love. He is not going to go out of his way to buy cards or flowers or chocolates, no, he would rather give the woman money, believing his money is all the romance the woman needs.

         Old naija men vs young naija men: we the young ones (Cider, writefreak) tend to look at the older generation as not being romantic cos they are not giving flowers or dining and wining their wives or running the bath for them. Of course, some of these men try to do these and they look out of place but it’s a pleasure to find one older naija couple that is not ashamed to express love openly.

         There are different levels of people as it relates to romance; people who are romantic and are recognized as such, self acclaimed romantics or people who assume they are, people who know they are not and willing to try and people who just couldn’t care any less about romance and don’t want to hear anything about romance cos they believe it is one of the ways the white man is using to rob our mind or another means of being unreal or impractical.

        Nevertheless, like most things in life, everyone has the potential to be romantic and like Roc, SMF, and Bibi said, those that are termed romantic put effort into cultivating that side of them…..its not enough wanting to be romantic, you have to put some effort and work towards it.

            Sometimes you may not even know what your romance language is, but when you study yourself you will be able to find the answer to that, and perhaps learn couple of things about yourself that will help you in the long run.

                  My words, my views, my style! Naijagirl©2009

Have a great week y’all!!!

Published in: on May 18, 2009 at 4:52 am  Comments (9)  

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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. hmmm.. interesting….

  2. @Simeone…thanks

  3. good summary NG; weldone u…

  4. well romance is all you have said it is. So long as the two people speak the same romantic language then it is all good. Shey Rick Ross said ” money makes me cum” lol

  5. Beautifully written!
    i do love romantic men…and love languages are sooo important.
    and your comment made my day…. 🙂

  6. For those who do not know their Love (Romance) language- i suggest you read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

    Romance is very important for both sides. Even more for we women.

    NGP- Nice write up. I like! 🙂

  7. @Doyin…..thanks my dear
    @Nice anon….lol, anon ibiakwa
    @Lady D….lol, thanks…for the comment; anytime
    @Tigeress….lol, some guys would debate you on that declaration. Yeah, Gary chapman is a good place to start

  8. That is a really good summary! You love to write and you do it so well.

  9. @GNG….lol, thanks

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